oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
