How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
