Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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