If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
