Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
