Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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