He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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