Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
