My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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