There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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