she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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