Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
