This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
