420 ftw
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
