Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
