His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
