you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
