____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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