I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
