I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
