He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
