So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
