So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
