i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
