I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize