Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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