Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
