All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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