honey bunches of taint.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
