im drinking this country out of the recession.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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