elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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