He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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