If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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