I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You are the jesus of drinking
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
