You really coming over, don't trick.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
