i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize