none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
