dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
