yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
