There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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