I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
