I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize