I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
tell me about the eggs
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
