"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
