so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize