i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
