ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
