i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
