I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
