Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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