oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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