I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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