idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
