I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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