Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
