he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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