take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
