haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
