I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
